2 years…

4 Jul

I’m writing about this now because I don’t think I will be able to sit down and do it tomorrow, when the magnitude and meaning of all of this will really hit me.

July 5th, 2005 brought the most shocking and painful moment of my life to this day. It was the day that my mentor and friend David French passed away.

I don’t want to focus on the pain that I felt and sometimes still encounter, for I know that his wife and family have suffered so much more than I could ever imagine. Aside from that, I want to remember only positive things about him, because he brought so much good into my life.

Over the past few weeks, as this date has approached, I have found myself thinking about him more and more, laughing at little jokes I had with him, crying when I think about the moments we could have had. 2 years is a long time, and on some level, you think that things would be “easier”. I’ve learned though, you don’t get over something like this. You just learn to live, despite the pain, despite the loss. But there’s no forgetting. How could I forget someone who meant so much?

When I was 17, I was really searching. My parents had known Dave for almost 20 years at that point, and he was the worship leader at the church we began to attend. It was great re-connecting with Dave and his family. After our first couple months at the church, he discovered that I could sing, and started harassing me to join the worship team. At this time, I was really broken-hearted, and truthfully, I was doubting God’s very existence, let alone feeling that I wanted to join a worship team.

But, anyone who knows Dave knows that he was relentless when he decided he wanted something. I say that in the best way possible. At the time, it drove me crazy, but today I am so thankful that he didn’t take no for an answer. Eventually, I joined the team, and I had the privilege of singing with him for 3 years.

During that period, I learned so much from him. I learned to laugh, to feel joy again. I learned to be transparent. Most importantly, I learned what it meant to truly worship God. Before that time, singing in front of a church was just a performance to me. Through his instruction and his patience with me (and my attitude), I fell in love with music all over again.

How can I begin to thank God for placing that kind my life? ‘Cause let’s face it, in that time in my life, I needed a miracle. And God, in all His wisdom, knew what kind of person I needed in my life to push me to excel. I am so thankful that Dave allowed himself to be used in that way.

Sometimes I wonder if he realized how much I truly loved him. I wonder if he knew that in a lot of ways, he helped save my life. I was in a place where it was make or break. Because of him, along with other encouraging members of that church, I came to a place where God could make me into something better.

Death is a difficult thing. As a believer in Christ, I know that Dave is in heaven. But it is in my human nature that I miss him daily. In the flesh, I question God’s reasoning in taking him in the manner and the time that He did.

But doubt isn’t an option. Others might choose to think that this kind of event is just another sign that God is not sovereign, or on a more severe level, that God is not there. But Dave’s life, and the things that he helped to bring forth into my life prove that to be completely untrue. Aside from all the other events in my life that have served to confirm God’s existence, love and kindness, I have seen things since his death that have proved that all of these things operate together for the good purpose of God. He knows what He is doing.

So tomorrow will be a day when I remember my friend. I will remember the laughter we shared, the things he taught me, the advice he gave. Tears will be shed, but when all is said and done, despite the knowledge that I will never have another moment with him here on earth, I know that I will see him again someday. And I will always be grateful that God brought him into my life. He helped to bring me to where and who I am today. And for that, Dave French, thank you.

(photo taken by Kati French)

This is how you lived your life. Looking to the Lord, always. Ready to accept His will and purpose for your life, no matter what the cost. Thank you for that example. We love you and miss you.


One Response to “2 years…”

  1. Meiche July 8, 2007 at 9:04 am #

    I think that all the things you learnt from Dave and now carry with you in your heart make Dave’s life so worthwhile. Though I know you and his family still encounter sadness and pain with unexpected thoughts, I feel that Dave’s life would have been all the more sadder a loss if you could not look back at the things you learnt from him.
    I am so glad you can look back and say “I learnt to smile, laugh, be transparent.”

    That is the magnificent woman that is you, that is my friend, that I think is wholly lovely.

    Thank you for your post Meg. Beautiful transparency 😉

    Much love!

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