Moving on…

12 Jun

I have a few friends who are going through the same thing I went through 4 months ago. Break-ups…moving on…letting go.

As I was writing an email to one of them this morning, about how moving on will become easier, I thought to myself…”this is probably the last thing they need to hear right now”. But at the same time, it’s exactly what they need to hear.

Those paradoxical feelings led me to think about the concept of “moving on”. I mean, seriously, who came up with that? How do you just move from one chapter to another? It’s pretty much impossible. You can’t erase the memory of moments past…good or bad.

I think the hardest part for me during the past couple months of my life is remembering, not the hurtful memories, but the moments that were good. I loved my ex with all of my heart, and at times, despite the pain, I miss the good. I miss the moments where we laughed, had fun, talked for hours…and the moments where we just sat in comfortable silence. Those are the moments that are hard to leave behind.

Moving on isn’t just about getting through the pain of the past to embrace the hope and the possibility of the future. It’s learning to let go of the good moments, learning that there is something out there that is even better for you. Though it seemed impossible at the time of my break-up, even as my heart was breaking into millions of pieces, I began to see that God was trying to show me something. He was preparing me for something greater. Even though my heart could not comprehend the idea that I could be happier than in my greatest moments with my ex…I somehow know now that it is true.

How? Oh, it’s so complex, I don’t think I could even begin to explain it here. To simplify it, I suppose I can only say that at long last I have learned to love myself. I have learned that I deserve that kind of happiness. Not happiness that is fleeting or brought forth from memories of moments from the past…but happiness that spreads over my life like a blanket…that brings warmth even in moments of trial. I deserve that. And someday, I know I will find it with the person I am meant to be with. Until then, I am satisfied in being single so that God can prepare me to be unselfish enough to bring that warmth and happiness to the man I will someday love.

I am never alone. I am surrounded by friends who have loved and comforted me during this time. Better yet, I am loved by a God who knows me, my heart and my desires; a God who will someday fulfill those desires. In the meantime, I am enjoying watching these promises slowly come to fruition.

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4 Responses to “Moving on…”

  1. Meiche June 15, 2007 at 4:05 am #

    GREAT blog Meg.
    Hmmm, I might be persuaded to move on too and leave my xanga. Do you know what because_of_adam means? I like to pretend that it really means it’s because of the original sin we all need salvation… but no. Four years ago an emo friend of mine, Adam made me get a xanga page. Yeah. I think it might be time to leave it all behind 😉

    Oh, and back to your blog. You’re super.
    Smiles,
    Meiche.

  2. Meiche June 15, 2007 at 4:05 am #

    GREAT blog Meg.Hmmm, I might be persuaded to move on too and leave my xanga. Do you know what because_of_adam means? I like to pretend that it really means it's because of the original sin we all need salvation… but no. Four years ago an emo friend of mine, Adam made me get a xanga page. Yeah. I think it might be time to leave it all behind ;)Oh, and back to your blog. You're super.Smiles,Meiche.

  3. Meiche June 15, 2007 at 4:06 am #

    Oh, hey! I already have a blogger!
    What a surprise!! 😉

  4. Meiche June 15, 2007 at 4:06 am #

    Oh, hey! I already have a blogger!What a surprise!! 😉

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